I may have mentioned that I have been feeling poorly over the past few days. It really started on Friday at work, when I started sniffling AND learned the outcome of the two job interviews I went on. Then it came to a deafening crescendo today when I was, quite frankly, unable to rouse myself out of bed to go to work, or to stop sneezing for a full two and half MINUTES (the longest of my life) this afternoon. It was then that I realized that I had been completely whooped by the microscopic sex cells of plants.
I was humbled. Then I realized that this was a LEARNING opportunity for me… so allow me to share with you what I’ve learned over the past four days. Some are food related, some are not. All are true:
You will eat ice cream in times of stress before your job interview and this is okay. Because when you get two rejections in one day, you won’t feel like eating at all.
Ragweed is the devil.
It is possible for the human nose to produce and expel enough snot to wipe out an entire box of tissues, plus two whole rolls of toilet paper.
This copious amount of matter leaving your body will NOT be reflected as weight lost. It is a cruel joke of nature.
With your nose on the fritz, you cannot smell. When you cannot smell, you cannot taste. This will NOT stop your appetite. You will make everything in the house in an attempt to satisfy your appetite. Nothing will work (see: NO SMELL/TASTE).
In your attempts to appease your appetite, you will use every dish in your house, and it will irritate your husband and children as they are left to clean it up.
Even the softest tissues will rub and chafe your nose. However, Chap Stick does the same wonderful job on chapped nose skin as it does on your lips.
Do not use the same Chap Stick for both jobs.
Allergy medicines like Benadryl are effective for relieving nasal symptoms. Hot tea is effective for relieving allergy related sore throat symptoms. A combination of enough Benadryl and hot tea are effective in replicating the feeling of vodka mixed with Red Bull – minus all the fun parts.
When the rain comes and you can once again breathe, and smell, and taste…it is acceptable to once again have ice cream for dinner. Call it a celebration and don’t feel guilty.